Submission Guidelines

Well, there aren't any, really - submission guidelines, that is. I accept simultaneous submissions. I also accept multiple submissions - but not too many. Up to five poems, shall we say, and two short stories? Yes, I think we will say that.

What else do I accept? Everything, really. Though as Christopher Woods (or "Greg," as I mistakenly called him) recently discovered, the only thing I don't accept is artwork. Oh, and injustice. I don't accept that at all.

As far as what I'm looking for goes, I'll try to give you some idea:

I like poems that describe all kinds of things in all kinds of wonderful ways. I do not like experimental poems that I can't understand and that use syntax that doesn't make simple grammatical sense. Though saying that, if I don't understand it but it sounds nice, I will like it. It is a fine line, I know. However, I generally prefer poems that use simple language to express not-so-simple things, if you know what I mean. Some of my favourite poets are Emily Dickinson, Arthur Rimbaud, W.B. Yeats, and Richard Brautigan. To be honest, though, I'm not much of a poetry reader anymore. I prefer prose.

Talking of prose, I like short stories that are short - say, below 2,000 words, though I might consider slightly longer pieces. I am a big fan of humour, because it makes me laugh, but I don't like slapstick humour, or middle-aged humour. I am also a big fan of strangeness in stories. I like stories that make me laugh as I read them, then make me go "Hmmm" once I've read them. Some of my favourite short story writers are J.D. Salinger, David Foster Wallace, Jorge Luis Borges, and Donald Barthelme. Recently, I have enjoyed reading No One Belongs Here More Than You, by Miranda July. If you don't like or haven't heard of any of these wonderful people, I would heartily recommend that you don't submit.

Anyway, those are my submission guidelines. Follow them ruthlessly, people.

I hope to have the first issue up by the start of June. (June is a wonderful month. I was born in June.) This, however, depends on how many people submit, and how good at writing these people are. So good people - write! And submit! After that, I don't know how often a new issue will come out. We will have to wait and see.

Send your submissions inside an e-mail (no poems/stories/or strings attached, please) and I will try to get back to you within a few weeks, though it will probably be a lot sooner than that. I am a fast mover, see.

My name, by the way, is Greg, and I am pleased to meet you all.